Roman Showers Make Me Want To Puke

Hi folks*,

Since my last post the weekend has happened.....I was kind of responsible with my new cash. Well, responsible in the sense that a 16 year old kid is responsible when driving his parents car. I only managed to blow through $400 of the check from my new car loan. But don't worry, it went to multiple good causes and furthering my general knowledge.

1. Paid back a friend that took me out boozing when I didn't have any cash

2. Helped buy clothes for a 3 year old little girl

3. Learned about the history of a foreign culture and it's impact on society today

How and where did I manage to accomplish all of this on a mere $400?

Where else of course: The Titty Bar. I know I hoped to not spend it on strippers but in this case it wasn't just for them. I'll explain.

#1 When I took my friend to the strip club to pay him back for the cash he spotted me before, it really wasn't an option. Always pay your friends back first. And if you know my friend, that IS the best place on earth (next to chartering a private jet to a Columbian beauty pageant) to go. Of course he manages to find the youngest(18 at best), most innocent, and wholesome looking dancer to patronize (both meanings of the word). Life was good.

#2 Before I even got my first beer at the club a friendly semi-naked customer service representative sat down beside me. After explaining that she was too young for me to buy her an alcoholic beverage (20) she opted for a red bull. It must have been all of the caffeine in the Red Bull that made her open up to me like I was Barbara Walters. I'll tell you exactly what she said:

Blah Blah Blah I'm only 20 Blah blah 3 year old girl needs clothes blah I'm horny blah your cute blah blah blah $25 private dance.

I assumed the 3 year old she mentioned was her kid and not part of a "60 Minutes" sting operation so I agreed to a dance. I could tell she was happy to have the money so early in the evening and the other way around I'm sure. Life was good.

#3 Later in the night after crumpling countless dollar bills into little balls and thowing them at the dancers (trying to make baskets in their thongs or just hit them in the face) I got into a strange conversation. I've no clue what started it or brought it about but let me tell you what I remember:

Out of Focus Cute Stripper: "....like a Roman Shower?"

Me "That sounds kind of familiar what is that?"

Out of Focus Cute Stripper "It's when someone pukes on you during sex."

Me "hahahahaha. I love you. (out loud to friend 2 stools away)Dude you've got to hear this!"

Ahhh learning! Life is good.

This sums up the good times had over the weekend pretty much. On Monday I used some of the money to pay off one of my credit cards and the rest (after paying some bills and overdue taxes I'll throw on the smalles balance credit card which will almost pay that one off. Finally!!!

*by this I mean JD