Man Vs. Programming code

I've been thinking of making a website for the last couple months. It's a pretty cool idea but there are a few problems.

1. I know absolutely nothing about how to make a website, make a database, or synchronize them together

2. The idea is possibly illegal (according to some people but I think they are just pussies)

3. It costs money and I have none

To solve problem #1 I've been trying to learn HTML and it is about as exciting as ....well learning a programming language. To make matters worse it keeps getting more and more complicated because there are other "languages" to learn in order to make a webpage look good and not like an electronic cave painting.As you can see from the diagram above I don't know shit and I'm sure as I reach the end of any of the paths of computer programming wisdom another 4 things will pop up and the rabbit hole will continue.

So when faced with something like this I do what I always do and try to find a way to cheat. I went to a website that looks simmilar to the one I want to make and I coppied every bit of code from thier site. Problem was I still need to change that code to make it look how I want. Of course that means I need to figure out what all the fucking gibberish means! Long story short, I've been spending my nights trying to decode programming languages. And yep you guessed it...I'm not getting laid, and finding Star Wars more interesting.* My master plan to become a total iPhone using computer nerd /hermit is almost complete.

Problem #2. The less said the better but in comparisson to some of the things I've done to make money this has got to be the better option.

Problem #3 Being that it could have legal repercussions I need to form some sort of coporation or LLC to distance myself(at least financially) from liability. This costs some Benji's. State Corporation Filing, Federal Corporation Filing, Trademarks, Ficticious Names to say the least. Then I have to set up a separate corporate bank account and on and on.

Also as a tie in to Problem #1, I'm going to have to hire someone to make this fucking thing if I ever want it to appear. Where are those kids that can live on only 40 cents a day when you need them? Oh yeah, they died.

*Just kidding about the last part....Star Wars is still fucking lame.